SAMMY HAMBLY
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Tribute to Sammy Hambly

It is with with enormous regret and immeasurable sadness that Sammy, Ron's partner and wife for 19 years, died on 21st May 2004.

This tribute was initiated by Reg Walton, a humanist, for him to read it at Sammy's funeral service: Ron made significant changes to the first draft and Reg was more than content with the resulting text which is as follows:

Tribute – Sammy Hambly as read by Reg Walton 

"I met with Ron, Becky and Gill to find out about Sammy and suggested that we just about chat her for a while and Ron quoted from one of Sammy’s favourite films, Sleepless in Seattle - “'How long is your programme?' because the funeral’s on Saturday!" 

"Sammy was a dynamic, extrovert woman who lived life to the full – “Life’s not a rehearsal” she would often say. 

"Sammy was a hopeless romantic who found her soul mate in Ron.  They were inseparable and always looking to surprise one another with small gestures, such as giving cards with brief messages reinforcing their love and affection. 

"She was impulsive, energetic and enthusiastic. 

"She would talk to anyone at any time, which meant that sometimes a trip to the shops for a loaf of bread could take an hour or more by the time she had spoken to people she knew, and often people she didn’t know. 

"Whereas some would avoid them, Sammy would make a bee-line for elderly or disabled people and ensure that they were included in whatever was going on.  Maybe it was the Butlin’s Redcoat coming out in her, but more likely is that she was just an exceptionally kind and thoughtful person. 

"She was the sort of woman who would help anyone in need. 

"She was always fulsome in her praise for a job well done but, make no mistake, she could have an acid tongue on occasions when she felt aggrieved.  She certainly wasn’t afraid to complain and seemed to get more than her fair share of apology letters with cheques or vouchers attached! 

"She was a dedicated sun worshipper but after a couple of cloudy days in the Summer she’d be off for a sun bed to get a ‘quick fix’. 

"Sammy liked to be in the thick of things and was a great believer in recording events and holidays on film and video.  As a result, Sammy’s family can look back on the many years of fun, and the camera never lies. 

"Sammy was born in Halifax, Nova Scotia but didn’t realise that she was Canadian until as a teenager she wanted a passport.  Over the years she became increasingly conscious and proud of her nationality – give or take a period of treason by insisting that she was ‘North American’ because she had fallen in love with New York as a result of her visits there. 

"Sammy and Ron were taking Becky to Halifax in September and were to renew their vows, but sadly that has been taken from them both. 

"The innocence of Sammy’s childhood was cut short when her mother became ill with cancer.  Sammy became the second mum as she was frequently left to look after younger brothers and sister when her mother went out to work.  A life expectancy of six months became a 7-year battle and this had a profound effect on Sammy. 

"Music and singing was always a major part in Sammy’s life – playing her guitar and singing in folk groups before going solo and becoming semi-professional. 

"She started by joining the Wallasey Operatic Society where she met and worked with Nigel Lithgow.  She was part of a group called Brooklyn Eeze singing in pubs, working men’s clubs and many other venues. 

"Sammy left school and took her first regular job at the Wallasey Town Hall as a typist but gave that up to become a Butlin’s Redcoat.  She worked at most of the holiday camps as well as touring with the entertainment Redcoats during the Winter. 

"Comedian Frank Carson was camp comic one year and later, when she took Ron and their girls back stage to meet him, he referred to her as ‘little Annie O’Neill’ – she changed her name constantly through choice, marriage and for stage purposes – Tammy Jones, Tammy Stevens and Sammi Kain are probably being sought still by the Inland Revenue today! 

"Sammy cut short her singing after her mum died while she was in Belfast fulfilling a contract with the MoD to entertain the troops.  Her claims to fame were auditioning for Opportunity Knocks (the earliest Stars in their Eyes), cutting a record, beating Les Denis in a talent competition and sharing the billing with people such as Bob Monkhouse and Tom O’Connor. 

"The music she loved to hear was very wide ranging from Celine Dion through Black Eyed Peas, Robbie Williams to Eminem – a really wide spectrum. 

"Sammy met and married Becky’s dad Graham after a typical Sammy whirlwind of 3 weeks and she never stopped loving and caring for him beyond their 12 years together – she would be so very pleased that he and his father have come here today. 

"She met Ron in 1985 when she was the office manager for a firm of Solicitors opposite where Ron worked as an estate agent.  They had a business relationship, but that became more when Sammy was asked by Suzanne, one of her colleagues, to initiate a match making exercise for her to meet Rhys, Ron’s assistant, but it all went pear shaped and wound up with Sammy and Ron getting together. 

"Divorce is tough on all concerned but Sammy did her best to shield Becky from as much as she could and both Sammy and Graham did everything they could for Beck to keep stability in her own world.  One of Sammy’s tricks was to reinforce Becky’s relationships by asking her, “Who do you love most in all the World?” and Becky's answer had to be "Daddy": second was "Nanna" followed by "Grandad".  This was typical of Sammy’s selfless approach to life and her dedication to the well being of Becky and Ron’s daughters subsequently. 

"Sammy and Ron moved around, renting, and buying and selling homes along the way until they settled in Whitley Bay, which they both loved.  After 14 years together, they were prompted by the forthcoming Millennium to marry in Las Vegas without any fuss, relatives or ceremony. 

"Sammy had been studying Computers in Leicester but gave that up for Ron to take a job in the North East.  She was halfway through a degree course when Ron was made redundant and Sammy had to settle for an HND in Business and Finance at Northumbria University (I’m told that it didn’t involve too much adding up!) so that she could get a job and keep their newly acquired home in Park Avenue where she died peacefully at home last week. 

"At 43, she the oldest in her group and worried whether she’d fit in – how could she do otherwise?  She got on really well with her fellow students and had she own ‘gang’ in which she was invariably doing her ‘Redcoat’ bit.  She spent many a time in Reds Bar for drinks and she did her ‘Mother Hen’ bit too, by encouraging her much younger cohort of friends to enjoy University but still work hard. 

"The University lecturers really valued her well-established ‘work ethic’ and the influence that she had on the other students but, much as they encouraged her to continue, she chose to graduate early – but she did so with style - 4 Passes, 5 merits and 12 Distinctions.  Typical of Sammy, she was so excited that she hired the cap and gown for her graduation ceremony for a full week instead of the usual day – she almost slept in it and, needless to say, lots of photos were taken. 

"Afterwards, she went into training and worked with a number of ‘Training for Work’ organisations.   She suffered a massive setback when she was treated very badly at one organisation and an Employment Tribunal ensued.  Sammy suffered blatant character assassination that shattered her own confidence and self-esteem but she came through and won her case: the substantial settlement started her series of trips to Canada and America but could never compensate fully for the effect that it had on her. 

"And that’s how she first came into contact with Barnardo’s at Palmersville, where she to went work as a volunteer – back in training but unpaid.  She brought her time and experience but in return received huge support for her own efforts to rebuild her confidence – Barnardo’s has played a massive part in her life from then on. 

"There was an opportunity to apply for the staff job while she was volunteering but she didn’t because she found out that another volunteer who had been there longer was applying.  Being the caring person she was, she didn’t want to queer the other person’s pitch, but her time came again and she became a permanent member of staff – something she has taken immense pride in ever since. 

"While working there she had the opportunity to go to 10 Downing Street and met Cherie Blair (President of Barnardo’s), David Blunkett, John Prescott, etc. Tony Blair was in Northern Ireland. 

"Sammy loved the Eurovision Song Contest and from 1956 onwards watched every show but one - Ron videoed the wrong channel and how he suffered for it!  One of Sammy’s “speechless” moments was when Ron surprised her and they went down and saw the final dress rehearsal in Birmingham in 1998.  Ron became addicted too, but they didn’t just watch passively: they concocted their own scoring systems and would mark every country’s performance. 

"Then there were Sammy’s travels! 

"It started in earnest when Sammy was concerned that she hadn’t received her usual Christmas card from her mum’s former best friend Auntie Benny in Halifax, Nova Scotia, so she used some of her compensation money to visit but then went on to spent the next month going around all over North America by ViaRail and Amtrak. 

"Ron insisted that she bought a pay as you go mobile in Canada but despite being assured by the salesman that it would work in the USA, it didn’t.  To his amazement, a really angry Sammy walked through his door, just within the 30-day warranty demanding and getting her money back! 

"Alone, she went from Halifax to Seattle, on to Los Angeles, Long Beach to see the Queen Mary, Chicago, New York, Montreal, Quebec and back to Halifax.  She wrote countless letters to Ron and bought a local newspaper at every city along the way to bring back as a souvenir. 

"She really fell in love with America and met lots of people but remarkably a lovely lady called Roberta invited her to stay with her in Orange County, LA: they met on the train, chatted and she found out that Sammy hadn’t booked a hotel and insisted that she shouldn’t be alone in such a dangerous city.  A true friendship continued via email and on a subsequent visit she took Ron to see Roberta and stay with other people that she met – Jim in San Diego and Pattie & Jerome in El Paso. 

"Sammy and Ron then went on numerous trips to the States and along the way collected an enormous amount of mementoes large and small.  They now virtually fill an entire room from floor to ceiling, including her newspapers and t-shirts, baseball caps, you name it, it’ll be there. The mementoes are not just in the room but all over the house. 

"They went to the New York Yankees Stadium – she was a big fan – and Ron arranged for a message to be displayed on the huge scoreboard which read, “ Sammy Hambly was here Dec 2002” and she was thrilled. 

"On a trip to the Grand Canyon she got chatting, as she would, with the native Indian coach driver. Remarkably, he had his headdress with him and guess what, despite it being a very personal possession, he let Sammy wear it – and yes there’s a photograph! 

"On another trip on Amtrak, they met some Amish families.  They don’t like having their photos taken because it makes feel like tourist attractions, but Sammy said how very well behaved their children were and struck up a conversation – nothing new there!  She asked and they readily agreed, not just to a couple of stills, but some video as well. Usually Amish resent being photographed – but they weren’t prepared for Sammy! 

"Sammy’s favourite European destination was the Canaries for the sun, what else! 

"Ron said that Sammy remained a child at heart – a big kid who lived in “Hambly land” and through movies because she hoped or expected there would always be a happy ending.  

"She was passionate about some movies and watched them all the time.  Her favourites movies included Sleepless in Seattle, Castaway, Any Given Sunday and Ground Hog Day.  Tears were a regular feature of movie watching.  Much to Ron’s frustration, Sammy always wanted to sit in the front row at the Cinema. 

"We can’t pass without mentioning Car Boots!  Sammy loved them and the chatter when haggling over prices and finding her bargains which have filled the house to bursting.  But she was always looking out for small token gifts for friends – Dalmatians for Brenda, angels for Roberta etc.  Anything to bring a little joy to someone else. 

"Sammy was definitely ‘low maintenance’ and not remotely materialistic.  Car Boots spoiled her for real shopping but she was only ever interested in the people that she loved and cared for. 

"Sammy and Ron didn’t go out and socialise much at all. They were just totally happy with each other’s company. They didn’t really need anyone else but were happy to snuggle beside each other on the couch. 

"If one were in the house without the other they would be just lost without them and looking forward to the other’s homecoming. 

"Did they argue much?  Absolutely, and with some vigour on occasion, but Ron told me that nothing festered too long and the best was that there was nothing they couldn’t withstand and overcome.  For example, Sammy was possessive of Ron’s time only because she just wanted to be together. 

"The best part was knowing that their love would transcend all.  They were a tactile couple, always near, holding hands and kissing (but not in front of the trainees!) and cuddled up in bed together every night – “the best part of the day” Ron would always say to Sammy.

"Sammy and Ron did so much together in their 19 years and he takes great comfort in the precious time that they spent on the roller-coaster ride that she took him through.  Roller-coasters are exciting but predictable whereas, but with Sammy at the helm, you could end up almost anywhere!  He never expected so much and hoped that it would never end. 

"Sammy died suddenly, totally unexpectedly but peacefully at home."

Gill Harland made two readings during the service:

  1. Ode to Sammy - written by Gill and Becky Hambly - Ode to Sammy
  2. An inscription made by Ron in a book that he gave to Sammy less than a week before she died - Inscription

The music chosen by Ron and his daughters included

  1. You're my home - Billy Joel
  2. Ave Maria - Celine Dion
  3. The greatest love of all - Whitney Houston